Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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