the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
