I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
