I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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