I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
