would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
