Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
A bitchslap is in order.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
