got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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