My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
