sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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