you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
