Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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