Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
