Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
