the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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