wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
