Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
