If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
