did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
