Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
