I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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