im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
