Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
