i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
