I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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