So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
