does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
