Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
