So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
