Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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