Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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