In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
