I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
