My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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