I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Duck Duck Cougar?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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