Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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