Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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