how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
