you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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