I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
