Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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