She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Found the puke drawer
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
