Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The uberlube is also flammable
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
