I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
