hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
