Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
