well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
and you fell through a lawn chair
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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