You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
