Reggie can tackle my bush.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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