i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize