I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
