piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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