He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
