): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize