This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
