I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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