She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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